


Civil

by misbehavingvigilante



Series: Marvel Spookytober Prompts 2019 [20]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 09:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misbehavingvigilante/pseuds/misbehavingvigilante
Summary: “I love you, but I’m terrified right now.” The words slip out from Tony before he knows it.There’s a lot of weight that falls on this being the first time he’s seen Steve since the fallout of not only the Accords but their relationship as well. Even if they hadn’t been together beforehand, Tony knows that the Accords would have ended up fracturing their relationship in a way that wouldn’t be easily mended regardless.





	Civil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinyFuryCloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyFuryCloud/gifts).

> [{Join me for the spook}](https://marvelspookytoberprompts.tumblr.com/post/188006745165/click-to-see-a-better-quality-of-the-prompts)
> 
> Day 20 - “I love you, but I’m terrified right now.”

“I love you, but I’m terrified right now.” The words slip out from Tony before he knows it.

There’s a lot of weight that falls on this being the first time he’s seen Steve since the fallout of not only the Accords but their relationship as well. Even if they hadn’t been together beforehand, Tony knows that the Accords would have ended up fracturing their relationship in a way that wouldn’t be easily mended regardless.

There’s a little extra sting with the person he was with choosing another man over him even if Tony knew that Steve and Bucky’s relationship hadn’t actually been like that. His doubts had teeth, but as always he had curled himself around armor until he heard none of it.

And it wasn’t like really things were going to go up after he attacked Barnes. That was… well, few people would have been able to keep control of themselves in those circumstances Barnes was no longer the former best friend, the one that had supported Steve from the start, he was only Barnes, the person who had killed his parents because it was his hands, his hands-

Those spiraling thoughts among others was the reason he’d been in therapy. That he was attempting to do something positive in the world’s most dramatic breakup between two of the original avengers and the Avengers group themselves.

Communication was crucial, and he’d been told he actually had to speak his mind and not just keep everything to himself given he had something of a control complex. He had to assume that every time he reached out verbally or physically he wasn’t going to be pushed away or else he’d just contribute to the problems as well.

So naturally, there’s a threat against the Earth and everything he’s seemingly ever feared is coming true so he calls Steve. Halfway expecting Steve to just mock him for having the audacity to call him after everything or tell him he’s needy but again those are the thoughts he imagines Steve to have, and not in actuality what Steve does.

So Steve answers and they just switch into battle planning.

There hadn’t been any real time to decompress and talk about things until eventually the waiting period hit. So there’s the tension of what’s to come and what’s next and then there’s finally alone and it falls out of him.

“I mean…” Tony tries, he tries to find a way to wrap that up in anyway that can obscure just how true that is. Steve looks shocked, but he also looks really good in that bearded get up and that’s yet another dangerous thought. Does he have any other thoughts?

“You do?” Steve’s voice is small and uncertain.

Admittedly, that was nowhere near anything that Tony had expected. He didn’t dare dream of patching things up, all he’s known since the wormhole were nightmares and every time he dares differently, a new nightmare appears to torment him.

After the bunker, he dreamt of deaths, mostly. Steve killing him, or him somehow killing Steve, Bucky never features much in those dreams probably because somewhere in his subconscious Tony knows while Bucky did kill his parents, he was brainwashed into doing so, nothing more than a tool without any sense of self at that and blaming him is pointless.

Blaming him won’t solve anything, all it does it serve to punish a man that’s already been punished enough.

“Do you?” Tony asks instead of answering because he’ll be damned if he’s the only one on the spot right now. This is probably a really inappropriate place to deal with their relationship woes, but on the other hand, the world might end, so might as well die with no regrets.

As if this would be his only regret left to patch, Tony doesn’t think even another lifetime would be enough to make up for all the wrong he’s ever done.

“I never stopped. Things just got…”

“Complicated?” Tony finished for Steve who only nods in return. The end of their relationship hadn’t exactly been voiced, but had been done so by Steve walking away and leaving him with the shield. That had been the symbolic end of their relationship since they were both dramatic bitches and didn’t know how to end a relationship any other way.

Steve pretty much ended his relationship with Peggy by driving a plane into the sea, and he had broken up with Pepper in fairly dramatic ways too, so they were perfect for each other in that regard.

Silence spans between them and that is a familiar feeling.

Leading up to the great fallout, they stopped being able to talk as well as they had before, what were comfortable silence turned into tension filled ones instead, only not saying anything else in the hopes that perhaps it wouldn’t make it worse.

Things were always going to get worse, at the end of the day, the Accords had proved that he and Steve were different on what they would budge on and what they wouldn’t.

Tony wondered simply if they were too different.

If things were never going to work out for them to begin with and if this was all in vain because it’s not like anyone had really taken it all that seriously. Steve knew how he felt about the cosmic threat but he also felt a great deal of that was just the PTSD.

Some part of it had been, but he’d also been right.

A larger part than Tony wanted to admit want to scream in Steve’s face for having doubted him, but then what good would that do? It was already too late, and it was just mitigating the damage now.

“This doesn’t fix anything, you know.” Tony settles on saying instead because that seems safer than a lot of other thoughts swirling around in his head.

“I know.” Steve’s face is solemn, but his tone is sad. “Together, though. I promised you that.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, he had remembered hearing those words around the Ultron fiasco, he hadn’t actually expected to hear them again after everything.

He can’t help but be a little skeptical. “We could die.”

As if life is ever promised since ever of them ever put on the suit, Tony knows Steve knows this yet he wants to say it all the same.

“Then we do that together, too.” Steve says and Tony can't help but believe him a little.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna chat, I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thiefoftruth26).


End file.
